The Art of Moving On

I find some emotions to be beautiful, especially happy emotions. However, someone who is recovering from feeling negativity also creates a sense of beauty. How they express what they feel in their speech, with their actions or perhaps by just being blank - I think it should be considered art.

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A few years ago, I was a self-proclaimed pessimist. I never really saw the good in anything which was bad. I often let myself hang on to a burden, hoping that the good will eventually come back - when instead, it was like writing a suicide note to myself (figuratively, don't take me seriously I will never kill myself). However, growing up, seeing things, places, people made me have a different perspective towards things which I am forever blessed. There are some pieces of us, which we are better off without. Pieces, which we need to let go, in order to grow.

A few months ago, a close friend lost her father. He battled with something incurable for months. The last time I saw him, he was praising my friend, his daughter - for cooking dinner. Though he seemed restless, he made his wife and children smile as we all shared a laugh, enjoying my friend's delicious cooking. A month after that, at the crack of dawn, he passed away. Like his sickness, it left an incurable hole in my friend's heart. No man can love her like her father. Sad, but that did not stop her from living life. She's one of the strongest people I know. Despite the hardships she's been through, she still manages to be the best in what she does, she takes care of her family and cats well, and she still smiles knowing that all she wants in life, is similar to what her father wants; to admit loss, to be happy, and to be loving to others - all in which, she is coping well with now.

A few weeks ago, a blood relative broke off her engagement. Just a few months before the wedding, he decided to call it off. Her supposed wedding dress hung in her cupboard while she returned him, her ring. She was broken, torn. She cried at night, though unable to express what was going on believing the only person who would understand was herself. She decided that the only way to bring her back to herself, was a bit of soul-searching. Off she went to a foreign land, doing things she would never expect herself to do. She jumped off a plane, she rafted in cold waters, and she asked God for clarity. One night, while stargazing, she finally found herself in love again - with the world and herself. She expected that perhaps, while memories still burdened her - she was better off by herself.

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Moving on, isn't something you can force. It's easy to advise someone to forgive and forget but let's be real. Being the one enduring it, we all know it isn't an easy task. But it works in miraculous ways. Never hope for something lost to come back, nor focus in giving time for the unchangeable to be normal again. Instead, embrace the positives and learn to live life again. Give them time, don't rush. The smile of recovery is something worth waiting for and trust me, it's going to be beautiful.

Twenty One Coincidences

So here's a funny story.

I'zaz, Pau, Najwa, Nafis and I decided to organize a small surprise for Amalina since yesterday was her birthday. We decided to plan a lunch gathering - just us, at a newly opened restaurant in Bangi. That afternoon, Nafis booked us a table and Najwa bought the balloons. We told Amalina to come at 2PM.

At 1.30 PM, I'zaz and I reached the restaurant and we found Ila and Zah placing balloons at a table. Shocked, I asked them what they were doing here. I thought, Najwa had invited Ila since we did mention something about meeting her. Coincidentally, they were planning Mira's surprise birthday lunch (which, let me add, was a month ago hahaha). So what did we ended up doing? Talked to the owner, combined both birthdays and got the upper floor of the restaurant - just for us. Win, win situation!

Brought my camera out to play today, hence the pretty shots! Photo credits to Najwa's boyfriend, Arif too! He was such a good sport, helping to take pictures, videos and even timelapses! However, there are a few comments I'd like to voice out regarding the restaurant. Gave the waiters a tip since they were kind enough to open the floor for us (despite the rain, haaa). The ambience of the restaurant was nice and the music they played was good - at one point, Nafis, Najwa and I started singing Muse's Starlight all of a sudden. However, food can still be improved. Some of the dishes were tasteless and definitely not up to par with the price. Twas' a lovely day, in fact - lovely week since I was having my mid semester holidays. Back to college tomorrow - three more weeks till I finish off degree!

I Scream, You Scream

Swensen's, IOI City Mall.

… we all scream, for ice-cream! I've been such a foodie lately. Being cooped up in this house has made me crave for all kinds of food. Watching Master Chef has also made me want to create and experiment with many different kinds of flavors. Have you ever felt like you were meant in the world for something different than what you're trying to hard to earn on paper? Sometimes, I feel that way. I have a weird connection with sweet treats, I find solace in eating them, making them.. and even by looking at them. Hm.

My days with Amir for his summer break are almost reaching to an end. In less than a month - or in three weeks time, he'll be flying back to Bristol for his studies and I'll be left alone, again. I've been meaning to write a post about long distance relationships but I just can't really put it into words. Sometimes I just feel so empty being alone in Malaysia.. which is why I resort to ice-cream. Lots, and lots of ice-cream.

No Bad Vibes

Source: Tumblr

Holiday season has made me reflect a lot - in a good way. I spend most of my time alone at home with my cats watching movies which have induced me with a lot of thoughts and moral values. Guys, believe it or not, I've finished literally all of the TV shows I've watched during my entire life - including new ones. That's how lifeless being at home has made me, but I'm grateful.

What I've been trying to avoid most is social media. A few days ago, I was scrolling my Instafeed and spotted a picture of one of Malaysia's "iconic" fashionistas being bashed for a wardrobe malfunction - which I wouldn't even consider a malfunction considering what she/he was wearing was definitely a no, no. Then I scrolled my Twitter feed to find cynical and sarcastic tweets, bashing here and there. Come on guys, what's with the negativity? 

Sometimes, we may have the purest intentions, to advise a person for the greater good. But there are ways in doing so. 

I, admit. I was once a pessimist who often judged too quickly. A person who spoke her opinions without evaluating different perspectives. But doing it publicly? Is definitely something unacceptable. In fact, I'm embarrassed to once belong in a crowd of people who did so. Being sarcastic isn't something to be proud of. In fact, whining or complaining on social media won't solve your problems either. 

Another thing I realise is our actions on social media may even effect us in a long term. My friend, Amalina and I were talking about how toxic social media has become and how it has actually taken a toll towards our relationships (regardless of partners/friendships). Looking back, life was so much during primary school when we couldn't care less about who indirect tweeted who, or making arguments about different opinions. It's saddening.. and annoying. 

#OOTD: Sunny Evening Out

Yellow blouse: Summershop / White jeans: Mango / Shawl was done by myself / Bag: Longchamp / Sunnies: RayBan Aviators / Jelly sandals (not seen): Coach

Detailed shot.

After weeks of not having a proper date, Amir brought me out today! We went to Cyberjaya to eat Boat Noodles, it was his first time but I'll elaborate on that in another post. 

So yesterday, my friend Filzah came over to Bangi to have brunch with me. We went to Wondermilk at IOI City Mall since I have no idea of any other pretty cafes around the Bangi vicinity except that one - as of now, lol. If you do know though, please, please let me know! Anyway, after going to IOI City Mall, I decided to bring her to Summershop located at Bangi Sentral. I swear, for months, its the only shop I splurge at these days. I can get pretty tops and skirts for such a good price. Last month, I went there with Dina and Jasmine, and they both went crazy too! Haha, so because of that - I broke my whole "no shopping till December" vow and bought this pretty top instead. It was only RM 49 for something of really good quality. What a steal!

Have a good week everyone! x