For You, Samlyn Patch

Yesterday was a sad day. My twelve year old cat, Sam, passed away. We never considered Sam as a pet. In fact, Sam was treated as a little brother in the family. He used to be fat, and lazy. He loved to play hide and seek. Perhaps since my legs are like twigs, he'd chase me all around the house. I loved to annoy Sam. Sometimes, I think he hates me because all I ever do is disturb him.

But Sam was always there, for all of us. Especially when I was sad. I would just curl up next to Sam, and he'd lay next to me as if he understood how I was feeling. All my friends knew Sam because he had been in my life for so long. When people came over, they'd always ask where Sam was. When he was around, they'd laugh at him for being fat, pet him, and even say good bye.

I guess, every living thing has its limit.

We noticed Sam's body slowly deteriorate when he lost so much weight. A sight I would never want to remember would be Sam, skinny to a point we could see his ribcage. My dad told me to let him out one day, just so he could escape being confined indoors and my neighbour's never ending renovation noise. Around evening, I went out to check on him and he was gone. He only came back that night, patiently waiting at the driveway for my mum to open the gate. My dad said he thinks Sam miraculously took up all his energy to climb up our tall backyard gate because he may have wanted to see the outdoors for the last time - I think so too.

The next morning, Sam was in his worst condition. He didn't make a fuss when we lifted him in the cage to bring him to the vet, nor did he react negatively when the vet checked his bladder and gums. We prepared for the worst since the it was all up to whether Sam had the will to fight, or not. We were certain that if it was too painful for him, we'd let him go. But with little hope, we decided to put him on IV drips for a day to see if he could fight for one last time.

27th February 2016, at around 10AM, the doctor called my sister. She said that Sam's body was reacting well with the drips and meds. His state was deteriorating, and she told us that the best option would be to end his pain and put him to sleep. We scheduled the procedure to be done around 3 PM.

2.15 PM, my sister, Thoriq and I, were on our way to the vet. That was when we got a phone call that Sam had passed away naturally, due to kidney failure and apparently a tumour. I guess he didn't want us to see him in pain. I guess that was why he never showed any signs of sickness. We took his body home, closing his eyes, and buried Sam beneath his favourite bench in our backyard.

Sam, I miss you. I always thought you'd at least see me in my graduation robe. Remember how I'd usually complain to you how I hated having to drive in the morning? Or if I was struggling with my assignments, you'd bug me, beside my laptop, sleeping - just to rub it in that you're a cat, and you don't really have responsibilities.

But you know what I miss most of all?

Waking up in the morning, going downstairs and saying good morning to you. I'd kiss you, and sometimes I'd pick you up and dance with you just to annoy you. How I'd kiss your pink tummy because to me, no matter how old you were, I'd always consider you as a baby. And whenever it was time to feed you, all I would have to do is call your name and you'd come running like there's no tomorrow. Every night, I'd wish you goodnight - and how, sometimes when I come home late or go down for a midnight snack, you'd be there on top of Ayah's chest watching TV.

Thank you Sam. I love you. Rest well up there, I'll see you again one day. ♡

20 Random Facts About Me

1. In high school, most of my friends called me Cha. Some people still call me that nickname, however most of them have reverted to just calling me Aisyah - and I cringe whenever someone who doesn't know me calls me by my nickname.
2. I majored in Public Relations and Marketing and my convocation is in May. A lot of people ask me how I can finish early compared to my other peers. I joined my foundation program using my trial results which meant by the time my SPM results came out, I was already almost done with my first semester of foundation. 
3. I have a sister who is five years older than me. We're exact opposites. She's currently doing her PhD in Bioengineering. She has a First Degree and Masters Degree in Biomedical Sciences.
4. I'm a mixture of Negeri Sembilan and Singapore. My mum's a Singaporean while my dad's hometown is in Bahau. However, I was born in Kuala Lumpur. 
5. I grew up in New York. My dad worked as correspondent journalist for a few years, so the whole family moved there. We came back after 9/11. While we stayed there, my best-friends weren't native New Yorkers. One was from Slovakia (whom I still keep in contact till today), one was a Columbian and one was from Senegal.
6. My favourite food would be gulai daging salai and gulai telur itik -- and telur dadar. I'm a sucker for Malaysian food, I need to have my rice fix at least once a day.
7. My favourite colour is grey. This includes all shades of grey - although, disclaimer: I have never, ever, read 50 Shades of Grey (lol). I watched the movie halfway though, and it just bored me.
8. After I finished my SPM, I was clueless as to what I wanted to study/become in life. Some of my choices include to become an aerospace engineer and to become a lawyer. My arwah Wan (grandmother) said I'd make a great lawyer because I always had an answer to everything - even when it didn't make sense, hahah.
9. My favourite subjects in school were English (no shit Sherlock), Sejarah and Physics. I was not a pure science student, I was an LK student. I ditched Biology and took Engineering Drawing instead - best decision ever.
10. My least favourite subject in school was Chemistry and Maths (yes, this includes both Mod Maths and Add Maths). See why my sister and I are opposites? 
11. I can easily cut people off my life. For eg: usually when I know someone has been talking behind my back or accusing me of things I don't do, I'd just disconnect with them and act as if they've never existed in my life. If you're close to me - you'd know how good I am with this.
12. I dislike people who are bitter. I find that every experience which happens to you good/bad serves as a lesson for you to become a better person. If it has caused you trauma/paranoia/anything else related, never blame another person. I always blame myself for allowing bad things to happen to me even when it wasn't caused by me.
13. My guilty pleasure is watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I don't care what people say about them, I find them entertaining. Plus have you guys seen how organised Khloe is?!
14. My favourite snack is kerepek pedas. I once chased a Mak Cik Kerepek with my car because I wanted to buy them. She laughed of course, but I made her day because she said it's not often that people were willing to chase her just for the sake of kerepek pedas, hhehe. 
15. I have trust issues. It used to be easy for me to open up to people but as the years have passed, I became more reserved and tend to hold things in.
16. Speaking of holding things in, its a habit which I dislike about myself. I can explode anytime and feel empty towards things easily because I keep a lot of things bottled up inside my heart/head.
17. Oh, I got accepted to my dream university a few weeks back. It's the same university which my dad went to study journalism. Though I'll be studying a different course. Someone once told me there's no point in having a Masters Degree but no work experience and that I'll end up on the streets despite my qualifications. I don't really care, I don't want to work yet and I feel like studying. You should always respect and motivate a person's dream and not condemn them just because you think differently.
18. I enjoy late night drives while listening to my playlist called "Chill & Termenung" on Spotify. I like having alone time every night while listening to music and just reminisce the day and have my thoughts ponder around. Its therapeutic. 
19. I fell in love with my high school best-friend. There's nothing much to explain about that although let me clear it off - he made the first move, even I was weirded off about it in the beginning lol.
20. I love to prove people wrong. My most favourite person to prove wrong would be.. myself. I'm used to disappointment that I challenge myself to overcome low expectations. It's a sort of motivation, and let me just say, I've happily surprised myself this past year.