A part of me wanted to make a living here. For a year, I tried searching for jobs. I got a few yet due to visa restrictions, I had to turn them down. I crave for a nomadic life. I grew up somewhere foreign and I had always felt like I belonged somewhere else, not in Malaysia.
But being here, taught me a lot about appreciating home, and most importantly appreciating the time left to be with family.
Thankfully, I did not lose anyone close to me this year, yet I saw friends losing family members so dear to them I cannot bear being almost 10,000km apart and not saying my last goodbyes. Because I know how hard it was for them, and deep down, I'm still the youngest child in the family who craves my parents attention above anything else -- and I don't want to separate myself from them, not just yet.
At the same time a part of me wanted to give back to the place I call home. I may not have spent all my years growing up in Malaysia, but oh god, do I have plans to make it into something else. Nothing is more rewarding to me than helping others, and I want to be known for that, not just simply just another girl with a foreign Master's Degree or the girl with many followers on Instagram. I want to use the influence I have to help those, without exposure, to be exposed of their passion and talent. Because I know I am capable of making a change and nothing would make me happier than helping others achieve success as well.
Perhaps, once upon a time ago, I was naive.
Perhaps, one day I will end up back in a plane, 13 hours to work in a familiar destination.
But for now, my heart yearns for home.
But for now, my heart yearns for home.
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